A father passing by his teenage daughter's bedroom was astonished to
see the bed was nicely made and everything was neat and tidy.
Then he saw an envelope propped up prominently on the centre of the
pillow. It was addressed "Dad". With the worst premonition, he opened
the envelope and read the letter with trembling hands:-
Dear Dad,
It is with great regret and sorrow that I'm writing you, but I'm
leaving home. I had to elope with my new boyfriend Randy because I
wanted to avoid a scene with Mom and you.
I've been finding real passion with Randy and he is so nice to me. I
know when you meet him you'll like him too - even with all his
piercing, tattoos, and motorcycle clothes. But it's not only the
passion Dad, I'm pregnant and Randy said that he wants me to have the
kid and that we can be very happy together.
Even though Randy is much older than me (anyway, 42 isn't so old these
days is it? ), and has no money, really these things shouldn't stand
in the way of our relationship, don't you agree?
Randy has a great CD collection; he already owns a trailer in the
woods and has a stack of firewood for the whole winter. It's true he
has other girlfriends as well but I know he'll be faithful to me in
his own way. He wants to have many more children with me and that's
now one of my dreams too.
Randy taught me that marijuana doesn't really hurt anyone and he'll be
growing it for us and we'll trade it with our friends for all the
cocaine and ecstasy we want. In the meantime, we'll pray that science
will find a cure for AIDS so Randy can get better; he sure deserves
it!!
Don't worry Dad, I'm 15 years old now and I know how to take care of
myself. Someday I'm sure we'll be back to visit so you can get to know
your grandchildren.
Your loving daughter,
Rosie.
At the bottom of the page were the letters " PTO".
Hands still trembling, her father turned the sheet, and read:
PS:
Dad, none of the above is true. I'm over at the neighbor's house. I
just wanted to remind you that there are worse things in life than my
report card that's in my desk center drawer. Please sign it and call
when it is safe for me to come home.
I love you!
Your loving daughter,
Rosie
2 joke:A guy walks into a bar with a small dog. The bartender says, "Get out of here with that dog!"
The guy says, "But this isn't just any dog... this dog can play the piano!"
The bartender replies, "Well, if he can play that piano, you both can stay... and have a drink on the house!"
So the guy sits the dog on the piano stool, and the dog starts playing. Ragtime, Mozart... and the bartender and patrons are enjoying the music.
Suddenly a bigger dog runs in, grabs the small dog by the scruff of the neck, and drags him out. The bartender asks the guy, "What was that all about?"
The guy replies, "Oh, that was his mother. She wanted him to be a doctor."
3 joke:A lawyer named Strange died, and his friend asked the tombstone maker to inscribe on his
tombstone, "Here lies Strange, an honest man, and a lawyer." The inscriber insisted that
such an inscription would be confusing, for passersby would tend to think that three men
were buried under the stone. However he suggested an alternative: He would inscribe, "Here
lies a man who was both honest and a lawyer. That way, whenever anyone walked by the
tombstone and read it, they would be certain to remark: "That's Strange!"
3 joke:A little boy goes to his dad and asks, "What is politics?"
Dad says, "Well son, let me try to explain it this way: I'm the breadwinner of the family, so let's call me capitalism. Your Mom, she's the administrator of the money, so we'll call her the Government. We're here to take care of your needs, so we'll call you the people. The nanny, we'll consider her the Working Class. And your baby brother, we'll call him the Future. Now, think about that and see if that makes sense,"
So the little boy goes off to bed thinking about what dad had said. Later that night, he hears his baby brother crying, so he gets up to check on him. He finds that the baby has severely soiled his diaper. So the little boy goes to his parents' room and finds his mother sound asleep. Not wanting to wake her, he goes to the nanny's room. Finding the door locked, he peeks in the keyhole and sees his father in bed with the nanny. He gives up and goes back to bed. The next morning, the little boy says to his father, "Dad, I think I Understand the concept of politics now." The father says, "Good son, tell me in your own words what you think politics is all about." The little boy replies, "Well, while Capitalism is screwing the Working Class, the Government is sound asleep, the People are being ignored and the Future is in deep shit."
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